Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This house was built for laser tag.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
