Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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