I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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