He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
