people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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