Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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