I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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