whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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