Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize