I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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