you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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