so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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