just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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