Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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