I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
