Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
