ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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