my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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