I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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