but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
