I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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