remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
