I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's the barista slut.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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