Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Quick, to the slutcave!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
