I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
