Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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