i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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