porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
