do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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