Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
