How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
