I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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