is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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