I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
