Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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