I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize