I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
