Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
