im about as happy as oj after his trial
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
whose parrot is this?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
