how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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