Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize