He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
