And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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