first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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