we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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