So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
