that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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