Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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