The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
