i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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