Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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