In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
