i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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