Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
