Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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