I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
