i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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