So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
