he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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