I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
